It can be tough to choose your next read. Many romance readers might let a favorite trope guide their selection, like an Enemies-to-Lovers plotline teeming with banter and angst or a second-chance romance that offers a unique blend of redemption and feelings of nostalgia.
Among the most timeless romance tropes is a personal favorite: Friends-to-Lovers.
You know what they say: nothing's better than falling in love with your best friend! Some who truly gets you. Who celebrates your strengths while showing patience and compassion in your weakness. All of those little nuances that make your readers swoon.
Readers adore Friends-to-Lovers for so many reasons. They're fantastic material for slow-burns and happy endings that feel earned, with an unexpected amount of risk and vulnerability to play with.
Friends-to-Lovers is also common in real-life romances. Chances are, you know a couple (or polyamorous relationship) who were friends growing up or who met as classmates or coworkers or who were in the same friend group before entering a romance. And it's not uncommon to develop for someone you know and wonder what might have happened if you'd acted upon them. That nostalgia and what-ifs often enhance the reading experience.
In this post, we're getting to know this dearly loved romance trope and a few tips for writers who want to weave it into their own stories.
Slow-Burn Gold
I typically prefer to read (and write) slow-burn romances, and the Friends-to-Lovers trope is all but tailor-made for them. The evolution of characters' relationship from friends to something more tends to be gradual, yet it keeps readers turning the page and screaming, "just kiss already!"
In a Friends-to-Lovers romance, the characters come with a backstory you can build on. They already know each other well and likely have a great deal of trust and history built up. This gives writers so much to work with and so much for readers to discover alongside the characters, and a slow-burn romance allows for in-depth exploration (and often a satisfying payoff!).
Chemistry Right Built-In
Speaking of pre-existing histories, another reason readers enjoy the Friends-to-Lovers trope is the fact that there is so much history built into the story.
These friends and soon-to-be lovers have probably known each other for a while and, like any friendship, likely have a bevy of inside jokes and banter on the tip of their tongue.
Readers love seeing these interactions take a romantic turn alongside new revelations. Realizing that there have been feelings all along as they view their friend in a new light. The traits that make for a great friend can also make for a great romantic partner, and that sentiment makes for great love stories.
Tension
Friends-to-Lovers isn't always sunshine and rainbows, though! Despite the overall warm and fuzzies you might experience as a reader, the trope comes with its own kind of tension: the risk of potentially losing the friendship.
A common Friends-to-Lovers conflict is the characters' fear that should their feelings be unrequited, it will ruin the solid friendship they already have with this person. Or they might worry about whether or not they can go back to being friends should they break up down the line. That first step could be a point of no return...
Those internal doubts can evoke a lot of will-they-won't-they moments, as they might wait for the other person to make that first move rather than be the one to jeopardize things themselves. It's not just a fear of change, but a fear of losing something deeply important to them.
Is it better to tamp down those feelings and hope they pass than act on them? It's might be easier to brush off a one-night stand with an acquaintance than it'd be to mend a friendship that's been sullied by unrequited romantic feelings but...
These are realistic obstacles that can heighten your reader's anticipation—and create an even more rewarding payoff when they do, at last, take that step.
Been There, Done That
One element that makes Friends-to-Lovers romances so irresistible for readers is how relatable they are.
I'm sure you're been part of or know a friend group in which people assume two people are in a romantic relationship because their interactions seem more intimate than being just friends. Someone might take up the matchmaker mantel and try to make the relationship happen on their behalf, whether they like it or not. You yourself might have at one point developed a crush on a friend or had a friend harbor romantic feelings for you.
Friends-to-Lovers romances work so well because it's a universal experience that resonates with the lingering what-ifs and almosts, making it easier for readers to connect with the characters at the heart of it.
Writing Friends-To-Lovers Romances
Now that we've covered some of the reasons readers adore the Friends-to-Lovers trope, it's time to explore some tips for writing your own.
Establish The Friendship - Friends-to-Lovers depends on having a solid, believable friendship that can blossom into romance. Take the time to explore your characters' existing friendship early on. You don't need to delve into their entire history from the jump, but give readers a glimpse into their dynamic through things like inside jokes, shared interests, or even seemingly innocent everyday interactions that might indicate they could or even should be something more.
The Baseline - When characters have a relationship prior to the events of the story you're writing, it's a good idea to know how they feel about one another. Have they always been attracted to their friend but kept their feelings concealed, or is this a new development they're still figuring out? Is it mutual or unrequited? Knowing this early on will make it easier to chart their course going forward.
Scatter The Sparks - Even if your characters don't pick up on romantic chemistry or even sexual tension sizzling between them and their friend yet, your readers should be able to. Incorporating smaller glimmers of unspoken attraction like a quick glance lingering a hair too long or noticing seemingly inconsequential details can get your reader invested. Allow your readers to discover your characters' feelings alongside them.
The "Oh Shit" Moment - One crucial moment in writing a Friends-to-Lovers romance is the moment a character realizes they're falling in love with their friend. It could come with as small an interaction as the skip of their heart when their friend hands them a slice of pizza at a Super Bowl party or as major as the sinking feeling they get when their friend introduces their new significant other out of the blue. Don't shy away from their realization (even if your character does!).
Embrace The Almosts - In addition to the aforementioned conflict naturally embedded into the Friends-to-Lovers trope, give readers those near-miss moments when a character might realize or even confess their romantic feelings but gets interrupted. Being close, yet so far, so many times, will make the moment everything does fall into place that much more rewarding.
Don't Rush It - The magic of Friends-to-Lovers romances is rooted in slow realization and risk. Rushing the shift from friendship to romance can make it feel forced. The joy is in the journey, as they say. So, give readers time to get to know these characters as friends first, as they've known each other, and then gradually allow them to take that romantic turn.
It's worth looking into plot structures of Friends-to-Lovers romances as you're laying out your own. That way, you can make sure you nail every crucial scene.
Allow Them To Be Vulnerable - Let's face it: falling in love with your best friend is no small thing. There's a lot on the line. Aside from the potential loss of the friendship altogether, this is someone who knows their weaknesses, secrets, and faults better than anyone else. When your characters do toe the line between, pay special attention to the moments they're letting their guard down in a way they wouldn't be able to with someone they just met.
It's lovely to think that your soulmate has been right in front of you the entire time, and that's one of the reasons readers are continually drawn to the Friends-to-Lovers trope.
The way these stories capture familiar feelings and entertain those lingering what-ifs makes for a compelling story with characters who seem just made for each other. They're messy and complicated and nerve-wracking sometimes, but beautiful in the end.
When written well, the Freinds-to-Lovers trope can be one of the most realistic and enjoyable to read. It's all about letting love bloom naturally, one precious moment at a time.
Have you written a Friends-to-Lovers romance? Tell me about your favorites and share your best tips for writing them in the comments!
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